You gave me that smile, when my heart began to break. We started talking and it was fun, you were the person God could make.
Slowly I fell in love with you, I can't explain the reason why. Maybe it was your enigmatic soul, that gave me wings to fly.
Maybe it was your loving smile, your warm and gentle embrace. Maybe it was your soothing eyes, that lit up the darkest place.
Maybe it was because you saved me, reminded me of how love feels. I don't know for sure the reason, only the way you made my heart heal.
I look up to you, I love you so, there may be times we would fight But you will always remain to be my hero.
YUCK. Soooo cheesy. *Cough* Pardon me. "Baby I know sometimes it's gonna rainnnnn" - Neyo (Mad)
Shock Absorber
I find it really annoying whenever people bitch slaps me with words like "His EX is a model. A BAM model that is." and another one like "She has the height...and you don't."
Read my lips people. Who gives a shit? I don't. :))))))))
Okay now, ask why I'm making an issue about this? Kaay, just so you know people from all over the world JUST WON'T stop. Ever since we dated I always get that kind of insult and I usually shrug it off. But what the heck? It's been almost 8 months already. It's been that long since you guys started pissing me off, and I want to congratulate you buttheads for you finally pushed the right button! You happy now? Just so you know, I don't have problems having short legs so why you fussing about it? If I have short legs shoud I be the one aggrevating and not you guys? And oh, I don't care if she's a model because honestly and conceitedly(haha) speaking, I know I'm better than her. IN ALL ASPECTS. HAHAHA. Disagree and you'll die. I know she often boasts that too but bleh. It's all good. She had her time, now it's my turn.
And oh why are you so proud that you're a model? For goodness sake, a BAM model? As if the world knows! I know I shouldn't be speaking like this because I haven't even achieved anything in my life just like she has *Pffft* being a model or walking down the runway, or endorsing something stupid, but fuck that. I have the man she's forever in love with and with that, I think I have achieved more than what she has achieved. I'm happy and if people can't be happy for me, I don't give a damn! I'm sorry but you people are getting on my nerves already. There wouldn't a problem in the first place if you didn't rub that in my face. I know that already okay there's no point of telling me same shit. I was even telling Joel that he must be really proud cos her Girlfriend is a model and he was lucky. I'm not that BAD after all you know. You just don't know how to get along with me. If you don't like me then I don't really have a problem dealing with that. I wasn't born to please any of you anyways.
Lihog lang nd nyo pag hilabtan kabuhi ko ky wla gd ko da ga ano cnyo. Kung nd kamo skn wala na kaso, suya-i nyo ko, tawaan, insultuhon, kg tanan2 na lain ubraha nyo skn...I don't care cos it wouldn't make me less of a person. In fact, you're making me feel that I am really a SOMEBODY cos you just can't help but notice me. :)))))))) Who cares if I'm from Roxas? Who cares if we only have 1 mall? Who cares if I talk fast? Who cares if we don't have THAT much taxis running around the city? Who cares if we don't have a lot of restaurants? And who are you calling "sunay" again? Me? REALLY NOW? :)))))))))))))))))) I dress better than you guys do! And heyyyyyyyyyy look who's in America having the brightest future? and totally living the LIFE!!!!!!!!! HATERS!!! Climb the highest cliff, jump off then call it a day!!!!! Sorry I sound so boastful but them niggas need a REALITY CHECK! My life was VERY peaceful before you came in the picture so please give it back to me!!!
If you can't accept the fact that Joel's dating someone that's not from your own city and you label sunay (esp to the ex who continually calls me that), Nigga, you make sure you remember my name... YOU'LL BE SCREAMIN IT LATER ON!
Oh I forgot.............................................
LIKE THAT? :))) I'm a bad girl and you gotta LOVE it.
He wrapped up my 2009!
I haven't really talked about how my New Year went, how I cried my ass out before the clock struck 12 in Times Square, how Joel went down all the way from New Jersey, and all the dramas I had days before we finally met. Now that I have the video uploaded, I think this is the right time to depict everything that has happened, but the only problem I have is that, I don't where to start. I have been contemplating on what to put here, and how am I going to condense everything that has happened. This might end up dragging, so I am suggesting that if you don't feel like reading a whole bunch of cheesiness, then don't go from here. :D Thank you.
December 26 2008 I was on my way to Big Bear California when Joel called my phone just to tell me that he wanted to talk to my Mom. I really had no idea what the talk was about, all I heard from my Mom was "Basta gusto nya dako nga bag. Kay amo na na gamit ya." After hearing my Mom said that, I knew he was going to get me a purse for Christmas because he knew that I really wanted a Coach bag! I felt a little kilig, but I didn't want to assume just yet. But seriously though, what I really wanted for Christmas was just to be with him on our Monthsary. I have been really praying to God that He'd make it happen. I thought to myself that maybe this is just somewhat his "bawi", that Joel has been buying me stuffs for Christmas because he can't be here on the 1st. :((
December 29 2008 Every hour, he'd bring up the topic about how wonderful it could be spending New Years together! And in every hour, I feel a little boo boo in my heart. :| He knows how much I want to spend New Years with him plus the fact that it's our 2nd monthsary, January 1st 09 just spells the word "unforgettable" for the both of us. Weeks before he already told me that his mom won't let him go here on the first, so since it was his Mom, I never argued, but of course I was still hoping that Tita Joann would let him go.
That night, I was on the phone with Joel when my cousin from the Philippines called. I hurridly gave the phone to Mom because I don't want him to hang up, so I said "Mom sturyaha lang anay si Joel ma sturya lang ko kay Stef." I went inside the room and talked to my cousin for I don't know how long. When I got back to the dining area to check if she was still talking to Joel, I saw them all sitting at the dinning table talking and looking very serious. The first thing I heard from my brother when he saw me was "Kabalo ka?" What a stupid question. How would I be able to know what was up if I was inside the room talking to Stef? It felt weird for a while but Mom was such a good actress and told me that my brother was just being a jerk and asked me to go inside the room and finish talking to Stef instead.
While approaching the dining area, I heard Tito Jesse said, "Bawww grabe!" then he placed his both hands in his mouth the moment he saw me. I was clueless the entire time. I think my daddy wanted to ask me something but Mommy held his hand and told me to call Joel back and talk to him in the room. I started to feel a little awkward because I have a feeling that they are up to something, but you know I wasn't expecting something really big. I thought to myself maybe Joel just asked Mom what I wanted for Christmas and stuffs like that.
December 30 2008 This was the day that I wanted to pull him out of New Jersey and kick his balls as hard as possible. The moment I woke up that morning, I already called him and God knows how many times I did. Mommy even asked me "Wala gapon?" and I was like "Hambal nya ma skiiboarding sila sang cousins nya I have no idea kung pakadto sila or what. He didn't say anything." I swear to God, every minute of that day, I never failed to call him, but fuck he didn't answer. Daddy and Tito Jesse even started to tease me telling me that Joel went INDOOR snow boarding. HAHAHA. (If you get what they mean!) I wanted to cry already because that doesn't happen most of the time, so I was left worried........and doubtful.
Night came and it was close to 12am when he PMed me in YM. I didn't want to talk to him at first because I was really pissed, but since he is just simply amazing and he I can't resist him, I talked to him instead. He was like "Grabe babe sagad2x sakon mag skii." something like that. I didn't actually remember what we talked about, all I know is that I am pissed and he is so dead.
December 31 2008 NEW YEAR'S EVE. I was expecting him to call me later that afternoon or early that night because he told me that he'll be home the day after, but congratulations, I didn't get any call from him. My "pissed-ness" jumped 100x times than normal and I can't help but cuss the whole day. Mom and Dad kept on laughing at me because I've been acting really snooty and I didn't even threw in a big fat smile that day. Later that night, before heading off to Universal, we stopped by Sta Monica church to hear mass. The homily was too touching that it even made me cry, not only because I missed my family in the Philippines, but partly because Joel hasn't called me yet and we are not going to spend the New Years together. :(
8 something pm inside the car, I just woke up from my 20 minute nap when someone called Tito Jesse's phone and he was like "Wala pa. Ara pa sila sa balay nag lakat ko." and then he turned his back looking at me and said, "Ari d si Joel?" I looked so confused and nervous at the same time saying "Anoooo?!" and then my Mom was like "Natuntuhan ka naman ni Tito mo Jesse, react2x dsn kg!" Since I just practically woke up and I think all my senses were still not "functioning", I let it go and didn't take it seriously.
8:50 when we got inside Universal and Joel has only 10 more minutes to call me or he is so busted. I told Tito Jesse that if he won't call me before the clock strike 12 in New York, I am so not going to talk to him for one week. 8:55 we were already at the center of the City Walk waiting for the countdown in Times Square. I stood in front of a large screen, idle. I don't know what to do. I wanted to cry, but I am trying all my might not to. I wanted to scream hecka loud to release all the anger that has been in my heart for 2 days now. I wanted to just vanish that night because I don't want to spend the New Years without even just a simple call from Joel. After the countdown, I couldn't take it no more, so I cried. It feels really crappy not having to be greeted by someone you love on a very special occassion. Everybody started teasing me and they were telling me that Joel has a new girlfriend already, this and that which made it worse!
9 10 we went upstairs to get some food because I was really hungry. Mom and I waited in line at Pizza hut while Dad, Tito Jesse, and my brother were outside. I was irritated while I was inside because I can see mommy all busy texting, who knows who that bitch was (hahaha), and I was just there staring at her. I was imagining myself talking to Joel on the phone, ONLY if he cared to call me. I think it was passed 930 when Mommy told me to go look for Tita Cheryl outside because we needed tables, so I did. When I went out, I asked Daddy if where was Tita Cheryl, and he was like "Ambot ah. Dri ka lang." So I waited outside leaning my back at the garbage can looking all gloomy when Tito Jesse suddenly handed me an uber big paper bag with stufs inside and he went "Pao Merry Christmas para na cmo!" and I was like "Ano ni? Halin kay cno?" I extended my arm to get the paper bag from him when I unexpectedly heard someone said "Happy New Year Babe!" Fuck that was it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was Joel and he planned all these! I didn't expect he'd come early and I didn't had a single clue! I swear! I should congratulate my parents for being such good actors because they played their role very well, same with Erika who was his main connivance. :D
The moment I saw him........ it was just so perfect. He was wearing the black blazer I wanted him to wear and we're both wearing black and white! I think I punched him 2893462713845237461 times that night because I can't still believe that he was actually there, and he even connived with my family. It was so overwhelming! When I got the hold of everything and my emotions were stable, we sat down and talked how he got there. He told me that he was supposed to be in LA on the 30th because that was his initial plan, but unfortunately his luggages I think were shipped in Frisco so he has to fly back to the North. From Frisco he rode the bart to Modesto to drop his bags off of James' house. He stayed in Modesto for one night, then he went on a 8 hour long drive from Modesto to Los Angeles. :D If there is such a word that surpasses EFFORT, then that would be the best word to describe what he has done. When I knew about it, my heart melted like I can't explain how melted it was! HAHAHAHA!
To cut the story short, he already wrapped up my 2009!
Times Square Drama
He surprised me!
By the way if you guys are curious about what's inside the big paper bag...... PM Me. :D HAHAHA. Kidding. Inside were 1. A Coach bag and it was purple! :D Well actually it wasn't purple, it was Lavender. 2. Ipod Touch! :D I didn't ask for it okay. Haha. 3. An Abercrombie and Fitch Tee and Sweater. 4. Abercrombie and Fitch Sweatshirt for Dad and Max and a Tee for Mom. :D Byeee.
The love we got.
First love and true and ever lasting love differs. He is someone I share something with,a journey that takes a lifetime to complete. Its not all about finding someone else but finding your other half that would make you as one. He brings out the best in me, and holding on to that thought, I believe that just by being with him shall bring out the best life I ever could live. Love always happens but true and long lasting love happens once in a lifetime, and it happened. I found it once and never i will find someone like him. I've never expected before that I would meet him or be with him. Just like what I said, I thought what we had before we're just a big fat hoax. He was too hot for me and seeing a whole bunch of pretty girls swarming on his profile, my insecurity killed me that moment. Time went so swiftly that little did I know, I was already falling for him and for this "pseudo relationship" that we have, not realizing that what I feel for him was in fact, the most overrated word in the world, Love.
I don't remember how I started loving him, neither the day I realized I already love him. All I know from the very start is that, my love for him has no depth, its boundaries are ever expanding. My love and my life with him will be a never ending story. It will last longer than time, longer than forever. The memories we both have is like your LSS. You sing it over and over again and it just keeps playing. It's more of like a favorite song. No matter how many times it plays again, you never get tired of it.
The road to true and ever lasting love is never easy because it is so hard to find. I've hit all the bumps, crossed all the detours, but now I'm standing strong saying, Baby I love you til the end of time and I will never let you go. What we have is real, that no matter how far the distance between the two of us, our heart and soul travels through one's worlds. And we don't have to worry about that much anymore because we only have 2 more weeks left before we finally get to be together.
I love you even with your worst faults and flaws. I will forgive and try to forget your wrong doings. I will try not to be easily angered by useless things. I will forever trust you just like how I trust my life in you. We can't call this love real without problem, it has many obstacles, and I know we can make this work. We still have a lifetime ahead of us and with you by my side, we will endure this "unfair" and cruel world together.
People keep on asking me how much I love you, but I always leave them with a confused face because telling them how much I love you is a never ending explanation. Words won't be enough. I can't picture life without you. You painted my life, in times of darkness and I'm so thankful that I was able to meet someone like you. Someone I know that truly loves me, someone that I'll spend and share the rest of my life with until my last breath. You are my happiness, my life, my everything. I love you baby! Merry Christmas!
****************
My heart he takes He'll always be my baby We may bend, Won't break But we got no one else to take He's the sun when my day is low I'm his picture in front front row His love is the center of my attention See I don't know what he'd do for me That guy is my everything We argue, we fight Then we make up by the end of the night Don't even speak it speak it We know what we got
And I love him, he loves me And this is how love should be I'm down for the love that he got that, he got And he stays down for the love that we got, that we got I love him, he loves me And this is how love should be I'm down for the love that he got that, that he got And he stays down for the love that we got, that we got
He's embedded in myspace Every time he speaks he blows me away Don't care what people say As long as he's in the same place where I lay See I'll be as that goes I'm his princess he's my general And no matter what you think about love Time wont outlast us See yall don't know what he do for me And I'm tellin you he's my everything We argue we fight Then we make up by the end of the night Yall don't kno what we got
The miles I'd walk for him are infinite
I'll run circles around the world And everyday I'm beside him feels heaven sent
And all else is irrelevant So keep on exuding your love on to me
Why I chose Joel over Edward Cullen
The whole Twilight saga has taken over me and my boyfriend like seriously. Edward was like pretty much the perfect boyfriend, and every girl swarm over him. While watching the movie, I can't help but compare the uber hot vampire to my uber hot mortal boyfriend. Though some people think it's unfair, I pretty much see Joel in Edward Cullen. Twilighters please don't bash me, I am just the "feeling" Bella and sorry ha, I am in love. :))
I can't believe that I still have to watch the movie the second time around before I could realize that the whole Edward Cullen concept just reminds me too much about him. He may never be the most handsome guy there is in New Jersey and in Bacolod, but he sure was attractive enough to have caught my attention. He may not be as sweet as Edward to Bella, but he makes sure that I feel loved by his kisses whether on or off cam, his texts, calls, and the little things he does for me when I sincerely need it the most. He might not have Edward's special mind reading power, but I never have to say out loud what I feel because he knows it even before I start talking, and it amazes me everytime. He may never be that super rich Edward who lives up in the mountains, but he is thoughtful enough to buy me something from time to time, even my family! He may never be a fast mover like Edward, but he always show up whenever I ask him to. He may never be like Edward who doesn't sleep because obviously whenever we are having our late night conversation, he always as in always fall asleep, but I know he is trying his best to keep himself awake no matter how late it is in New Jersey and how early he has to wake up the next day because I am not yet sleepy. He is not Edward who sparkles when the sun hits his skin, but he sparkles every time I see him smile. He may not be "that" extraordinary like Edward because he's a vampire, but you are extraordinary enough to be mortal and live his whole life with me.
So there, I guess I don't need to say more because I have said enough. I think those reasons were valid enough to make him feel that no matter how close I want Edward Cullen to be my boyfriend, I would never ever choose him over Joel. =))
P.S: DIABETES! DIABETES! Sorry for being such a cheesy Miga.
All I can breathe is your life
Love can feel like heaven and could hurt like hell. Pain and sorrow comes along with true and long tasting love. For love is never ideal but real right? It's true that if you have the courage to love, you must have the courage to suffer, and that to accept the rose you must accept the thorns. So I say, bring all the thorns! So whenever I'm in pain and I wonder what heartaches are for, I'll just let it pass. For the song Iris come rushing through my mind.
"You bleed just to know you're alive."
Remember?
Overload
Months back, I remembered giving up on love. I remembered hating all men and my concern before was how am I able to keep up with 2 boys at the same time. I remembered telling God if He could spare me from this chickenshit because I am not going to love anyone that much anymore. I remembered telling Mom that I am not going to have a boyfriend not unless he is First love. I remembered telling Katrina that after 5 years I will be entering the convent and offer myself to the Lord. I remembered telling Tito Jesse that I won't consider having a long distance relationship anymore because it is so darn hard to keep. Just months back, I remembered telling myself that the only definition of love is Paula Roldan and no one else, but when I finally met Joel, things abruptly changed. I ate, swallowed and even digested everything I have said before.... and Love is not Paula Roldan anymore, Love is Joel Carlos Padilla!
Yes LOVE does hurt, it is forever confusing and it sucks most of time, but honestly? Love or rather my love for him is the only thing that makes me want to wake up every morning and greet sunshine with a smile. =D And yes Babe, I love you and God is my witness! I don't freakin care if some of my friends are being an ass and they don't approve for having you as the man of my life because in the end it's gonna be between you and me anyway. And, sooner or later they will eventually accept that fact that It is YOU whom I love and no one else.
Thanks for sticking with me Babe though I know there's too much temptation. I really appreciate that. Thank you for being the source of my happiness. Thank you tolerating my bitchiness especially when I have my PMS. Thank you for all the efforts you've exerted in our relationship and of course thank you for loving me just the way I am. =)) I may be too perky, too sabad, too childish, too immature, too drama queen, too CUTE hahahaha, too Paula Roldan, but one thing is certain, I love you and I love you and I love you and I will love you forever! HAHAHA. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life you!
Time Check: 3:01am
Can we make up now?
You gave me that smile, when my heart began to break. We started talking and it was fun, you were the person God could make.
Slowly I fell in love with you, I can't explain the reason why. Maybe it was your enigmatic soul, that gave me wings to fly.
Maybe it was your loving smile, your warm and gentle embrace. Maybe it was your soothing eyes, that lit up the darkest place.
Maybe it was because you saved me, reminded me of how love feels. I don't know for sure the reason, only the way you made my heart heal.
I look up to you, I love you so, there may be times we would fight But you will always remain to be my hero.
YUCK. Soooo cheesy. *Cough* Pardon me. "Baby I know sometimes it's gonna rainnnnn" - Neyo (Mad)
Shock Absorber
I find it really annoying whenever people bitch slaps me with words like "His EX is a model. A BAM model that is." and another one like "She has the height...and you don't."
Read my lips people. Who gives a shit? I don't. :))))))))
Okay now, ask why I'm making an issue about this? Kaay, just so you know people from all over the world JUST WON'T stop. Ever since we dated I always get that kind of insult and I usually shrug it off. But what the heck? It's been almost 8 months already. It's been that long since you guys started pissing me off, and I want to congratulate you buttheads for you finally pushed the right button! You happy now? Just so you know, I don't have problems having short legs so why you fussing about it? If I have short legs shoud I be the one aggrevating and not you guys? And oh, I don't care if she's a model because honestly and conceitedly(haha) speaking, I know I'm better than her. IN ALL ASPECTS. HAHAHA. Disagree and you'll die. I know she often boasts that too but bleh. It's all good. She had her time, now it's my turn.
And oh why are you so proud that you're a model? For goodness sake, a BAM model? As if the world knows! I know I shouldn't be speaking like this because I haven't even achieved anything in my life just like she has *Pffft* being a model or walking down the runway, or endorsing something stupid, but fuck that. I have the man she's forever in love with and with that, I think I have achieved more than what she has achieved. I'm happy and if people can't be happy for me, I don't give a damn! I'm sorry but you people are getting on my nerves already. There wouldn't a problem in the first place if you didn't rub that in my face. I know that already okay there's no point of telling me same shit. I was even telling Joel that he must be really proud cos her Girlfriend is a model and he was lucky. I'm not that BAD after all you know. You just don't know how to get along with me. If you don't like me then I don't really have a problem dealing with that. I wasn't born to please any of you anyways.
Lihog lang nd nyo pag hilabtan kabuhi ko ky wla gd ko da ga ano cnyo. Kung nd kamo skn wala na kaso, suya-i nyo ko, tawaan, insultuhon, kg tanan2 na lain ubraha nyo skn...I don't care cos it wouldn't make me less of a person. In fact, you're making me feel that I am really a SOMEBODY cos you just can't help but notice me. :)))))))) Who cares if I'm from Roxas? Who cares if we only have 1 mall? Who cares if I talk fast? Who cares if we don't have THAT much taxis running around the city? Who cares if we don't have a lot of restaurants? And who are you calling "sunay" again? Me? REALLY NOW? :)))))))))))))))))) I dress better than you guys do! And heyyyyyyyyyy look who's in America having the brightest future? and totally living the LIFE!!!!!!!!! HATERS!!! Climb the highest cliff, jump off then call it a day!!!!! Sorry I sound so boastful but them niggas need a REALITY CHECK! My life was VERY peaceful before you came in the picture so please give it back to me!!!
If you can't accept the fact that Joel's dating someone that's not from your own city and you label sunay (esp to the ex who continually calls me that), Nigga, you make sure you remember my name... YOU'LL BE SCREAMIN IT LATER ON!
Oh I forgot.............................................
LIKE THAT? :))) I'm a bad girl and you gotta LOVE it.
He wrapped up my 2009!
I haven't really talked about how my New Year went, how I cried my ass out before the clock struck 12 in Times Square, how Joel went down all the way from New Jersey, and all the dramas I had days before we finally met. Now that I have the video uploaded, I think this is the right time to depict everything that has happened, but the only problem I have is that, I don't where to start. I have been contemplating on what to put here, and how am I going to condense everything that has happened. This might end up dragging, so I am suggesting that if you don't feel like reading a whole bunch of cheesiness, then don't go from here. :D Thank you.
December 26 2008 I was on my way to Big Bear California when Joel called my phone just to tell me that he wanted to talk to my Mom. I really had no idea what the talk was about, all I heard from my Mom was "Basta gusto nya dako nga bag. Kay amo na na gamit ya." After hearing my Mom said that, I knew he was going to get me a purse for Christmas because he knew that I really wanted a Coach bag! I felt a little kilig, but I didn't want to assume just yet. But seriously though, what I really wanted for Christmas was just to be with him on our Monthsary. I have been really praying to God that He'd make it happen. I thought to myself that maybe this is just somewhat his "bawi", that Joel has been buying me stuffs for Christmas because he can't be here on the 1st. :((
December 29 2008 Every hour, he'd bring up the topic about how wonderful it could be spending New Years together! And in every hour, I feel a little boo boo in my heart. :| He knows how much I want to spend New Years with him plus the fact that it's our 2nd monthsary, January 1st 09 just spells the word "unforgettable" for the both of us. Weeks before he already told me that his mom won't let him go here on the first, so since it was his Mom, I never argued, but of course I was still hoping that Tita Joann would let him go.
That night, I was on the phone with Joel when my cousin from the Philippines called. I hurridly gave the phone to Mom because I don't want him to hang up, so I said "Mom sturyaha lang anay si Joel ma sturya lang ko kay Stef." I went inside the room and talked to my cousin for I don't know how long. When I got back to the dining area to check if she was still talking to Joel, I saw them all sitting at the dinning table talking and looking very serious. The first thing I heard from my brother when he saw me was "Kabalo ka?" What a stupid question. How would I be able to know what was up if I was inside the room talking to Stef? It felt weird for a while but Mom was such a good actress and told me that my brother was just being a jerk and asked me to go inside the room and finish talking to Stef instead.
While approaching the dining area, I heard Tito Jesse said, "Bawww grabe!" then he placed his both hands in his mouth the moment he saw me. I was clueless the entire time. I think my daddy wanted to ask me something but Mommy held his hand and told me to call Joel back and talk to him in the room. I started to feel a little awkward because I have a feeling that they are up to something, but you know I wasn't expecting something really big. I thought to myself maybe Joel just asked Mom what I wanted for Christmas and stuffs like that.
December 30 2008 This was the day that I wanted to pull him out of New Jersey and kick his balls as hard as possible. The moment I woke up that morning, I already called him and God knows how many times I did. Mommy even asked me "Wala gapon?" and I was like "Hambal nya ma skiiboarding sila sang cousins nya I have no idea kung pakadto sila or what. He didn't say anything." I swear to God, every minute of that day, I never failed to call him, but fuck he didn't answer. Daddy and Tito Jesse even started to tease me telling me that Joel went INDOOR snow boarding. HAHAHA. (If you get what they mean!) I wanted to cry already because that doesn't happen most of the time, so I was left worried........and doubtful.
Night came and it was close to 12am when he PMed me in YM. I didn't want to talk to him at first because I was really pissed, but since he is just simply amazing and he I can't resist him, I talked to him instead. He was like "Grabe babe sagad2x sakon mag skii." something like that. I didn't actually remember what we talked about, all I know is that I am pissed and he is so dead.
December 31 2008 NEW YEAR'S EVE. I was expecting him to call me later that afternoon or early that night because he told me that he'll be home the day after, but congratulations, I didn't get any call from him. My "pissed-ness" jumped 100x times than normal and I can't help but cuss the whole day. Mom and Dad kept on laughing at me because I've been acting really snooty and I didn't even threw in a big fat smile that day. Later that night, before heading off to Universal, we stopped by Sta Monica church to hear mass. The homily was too touching that it even made me cry, not only because I missed my family in the Philippines, but partly because Joel hasn't called me yet and we are not going to spend the New Years together. :(
8 something pm inside the car, I just woke up from my 20 minute nap when someone called Tito Jesse's phone and he was like "Wala pa. Ara pa sila sa balay nag lakat ko." and then he turned his back looking at me and said, "Ari d si Joel?" I looked so confused and nervous at the same time saying "Anoooo?!" and then my Mom was like "Natuntuhan ka naman ni Tito mo Jesse, react2x dsn kg!" Since I just practically woke up and I think all my senses were still not "functioning", I let it go and didn't take it seriously.
8:50 when we got inside Universal and Joel has only 10 more minutes to call me or he is so busted. I told Tito Jesse that if he won't call me before the clock strike 12 in New York, I am so not going to talk to him for one week. 8:55 we were already at the center of the City Walk waiting for the countdown in Times Square. I stood in front of a large screen, idle. I don't know what to do. I wanted to cry, but I am trying all my might not to. I wanted to scream hecka loud to release all the anger that has been in my heart for 2 days now. I wanted to just vanish that night because I don't want to spend the New Years without even just a simple call from Joel. After the countdown, I couldn't take it no more, so I cried. It feels really crappy not having to be greeted by someone you love on a very special occassion. Everybody started teasing me and they were telling me that Joel has a new girlfriend already, this and that which made it worse!
9 10 we went upstairs to get some food because I was really hungry. Mom and I waited in line at Pizza hut while Dad, Tito Jesse, and my brother were outside. I was irritated while I was inside because I can see mommy all busy texting, who knows who that bitch was (hahaha), and I was just there staring at her. I was imagining myself talking to Joel on the phone, ONLY if he cared to call me. I think it was passed 930 when Mommy told me to go look for Tita Cheryl outside because we needed tables, so I did. When I went out, I asked Daddy if where was Tita Cheryl, and he was like "Ambot ah. Dri ka lang." So I waited outside leaning my back at the garbage can looking all gloomy when Tito Jesse suddenly handed me an uber big paper bag with stufs inside and he went "Pao Merry Christmas para na cmo!" and I was like "Ano ni? Halin kay cno?" I extended my arm to get the paper bag from him when I unexpectedly heard someone said "Happy New Year Babe!" Fuck that was it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was Joel and he planned all these! I didn't expect he'd come early and I didn't had a single clue! I swear! I should congratulate my parents for being such good actors because they played their role very well, same with Erika who was his main connivance. :D
The moment I saw him........ it was just so perfect. He was wearing the black blazer I wanted him to wear and we're both wearing black and white! I think I punched him 2893462713845237461 times that night because I can't still believe that he was actually there, and he even connived with my family. It was so overwhelming! When I got the hold of everything and my emotions were stable, we sat down and talked how he got there. He told me that he was supposed to be in LA on the 30th because that was his initial plan, but unfortunately his luggages I think were shipped in Frisco so he has to fly back to the North. From Frisco he rode the bart to Modesto to drop his bags off of James' house. He stayed in Modesto for one night, then he went on a 8 hour long drive from Modesto to Los Angeles. :D If there is such a word that surpasses EFFORT, then that would be the best word to describe what he has done. When I knew about it, my heart melted like I can't explain how melted it was! HAHAHAHA!
To cut the story short, he already wrapped up my 2009!
Times Square Drama
He surprised me!
By the way if you guys are curious about what's inside the big paper bag...... PM Me. :D HAHAHA. Kidding. Inside were 1. A Coach bag and it was purple! :D Well actually it wasn't purple, it was Lavender. 2. Ipod Touch! :D I didn't ask for it okay. Haha. 3. An Abercrombie and Fitch Tee and Sweater. 4. Abercrombie and Fitch Sweatshirt for Dad and Max and a Tee for Mom. :D Byeee.
The love we got.
First love and true and ever lasting love differs. He is someone I share something with,a journey that takes a lifetime to complete. Its not all about finding someone else but finding your other half that would make you as one. He brings out the best in me, and holding on to that thought, I believe that just by being with him shall bring out the best life I ever could live. Love always happens but true and long lasting love happens once in a lifetime, and it happened. I found it once and never i will find someone like him. I've never expected before that I would meet him or be with him. Just like what I said, I thought what we had before we're just a big fat hoax. He was too hot for me and seeing a whole bunch of pretty girls swarming on his profile, my insecurity killed me that moment. Time went so swiftly that little did I know, I was already falling for him and for this "pseudo relationship" that we have, not realizing that what I feel for him was in fact, the most overrated word in the world, Love.
I don't remember how I started loving him, neither the day I realized I already love him. All I know from the very start is that, my love for him has no depth, its boundaries are ever expanding. My love and my life with him will be a never ending story. It will last longer than time, longer than forever. The memories we both have is like your LSS. You sing it over and over again and it just keeps playing. It's more of like a favorite song. No matter how many times it plays again, you never get tired of it.
The road to true and ever lasting love is never easy because it is so hard to find. I've hit all the bumps, crossed all the detours, but now I'm standing strong saying, Baby I love you til the end of time and I will never let you go. What we have is real, that no matter how far the distance between the two of us, our heart and soul travels through one's worlds. And we don't have to worry about that much anymore because we only have 2 more weeks left before we finally get to be together.
I love you even with your worst faults and flaws. I will forgive and try to forget your wrong doings. I will try not to be easily angered by useless things. I will forever trust you just like how I trust my life in you. We can't call this love real without problem, it has many obstacles, and I know we can make this work. We still have a lifetime ahead of us and with you by my side, we will endure this "unfair" and cruel world together.
People keep on asking me how much I love you, but I always leave them with a confused face because telling them how much I love you is a never ending explanation. Words won't be enough. I can't picture life without you. You painted my life, in times of darkness and I'm so thankful that I was able to meet someone like you. Someone I know that truly loves me, someone that I'll spend and share the rest of my life with until my last breath. You are my happiness, my life, my everything. I love you baby! Merry Christmas!
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My heart he takes He'll always be my baby We may bend, Won't break But we got no one else to take He's the sun when my day is low I'm his picture in front front row His love is the center of my attention See I don't know what he'd do for me That guy is my everything We argue, we fight Then we make up by the end of the night Don't even speak it speak it We know what we got
And I love him, he loves me And this is how love should be I'm down for the love that he got that, he got And he stays down for the love that we got, that we got I love him, he loves me And this is how love should be I'm down for the love that he got that, that he got And he stays down for the love that we got, that we got
He's embedded in myspace Every time he speaks he blows me away Don't care what people say As long as he's in the same place where I lay See I'll be as that goes I'm his princess he's my general And no matter what you think about love Time wont outlast us See yall don't know what he do for me And I'm tellin you he's my everything We argue we fight Then we make up by the end of the night Yall don't kno what we got
The miles I'd walk for him are infinite
I'll run circles around the world And everyday I'm beside him feels heaven sent
And all else is irrelevant So keep on exuding your love on to me
Why I chose Joel over Edward Cullen
The whole Twilight saga has taken over me and my boyfriend like seriously. Edward was like pretty much the perfect boyfriend, and every girl swarm over him. While watching the movie, I can't help but compare the uber hot vampire to my uber hot mortal boyfriend. Though some people think it's unfair, I pretty much see Joel in Edward Cullen. Twilighters please don't bash me, I am just the "feeling" Bella and sorry ha, I am in love. :))
I can't believe that I still have to watch the movie the second time around before I could realize that the whole Edward Cullen concept just reminds me too much about him. He may never be the most handsome guy there is in New Jersey and in Bacolod, but he sure was attractive enough to have caught my attention. He may not be as sweet as Edward to Bella, but he makes sure that I feel loved by his kisses whether on or off cam, his texts, calls, and the little things he does for me when I sincerely need it the most. He might not have Edward's special mind reading power, but I never have to say out loud what I feel because he knows it even before I start talking, and it amazes me everytime. He may never be that super rich Edward who lives up in the mountains, but he is thoughtful enough to buy me something from time to time, even my family! He may never be a fast mover like Edward, but he always show up whenever I ask him to. He may never be like Edward who doesn't sleep because obviously whenever we are having our late night conversation, he always as in always fall asleep, but I know he is trying his best to keep himself awake no matter how late it is in New Jersey and how early he has to wake up the next day because I am not yet sleepy. He is not Edward who sparkles when the sun hits his skin, but he sparkles every time I see him smile. He may not be "that" extraordinary like Edward because he's a vampire, but you are extraordinary enough to be mortal and live his whole life with me.
So there, I guess I don't need to say more because I have said enough. I think those reasons were valid enough to make him feel that no matter how close I want Edward Cullen to be my boyfriend, I would never ever choose him over Joel. =))
P.S: DIABETES! DIABETES! Sorry for being such a cheesy Miga.
All I can breathe is your life
Love can feel like heaven and could hurt like hell. Pain and sorrow comes along with true and long tasting love. For love is never ideal but real right? It's true that if you have the courage to love, you must have the courage to suffer, and that to accept the rose you must accept the thorns. So I say, bring all the thorns! So whenever I'm in pain and I wonder what heartaches are for, I'll just let it pass. For the song Iris come rushing through my mind.
"You bleed just to know you're alive."
Remember?
Overload
Months back, I remembered giving up on love. I remembered hating all men and my concern before was how am I able to keep up with 2 boys at the same time. I remembered telling God if He could spare me from this chickenshit because I am not going to love anyone that much anymore. I remembered telling Mom that I am not going to have a boyfriend not unless he is First love. I remembered telling Katrina that after 5 years I will be entering the convent and offer myself to the Lord. I remembered telling Tito Jesse that I won't consider having a long distance relationship anymore because it is so darn hard to keep. Just months back, I remembered telling myself that the only definition of love is Paula Roldan and no one else, but when I finally met Joel, things abruptly changed. I ate, swallowed and even digested everything I have said before.... and Love is not Paula Roldan anymore, Love is Joel Carlos Padilla!
Yes LOVE does hurt, it is forever confusing and it sucks most of time, but honestly? Love or rather my love for him is the only thing that makes me want to wake up every morning and greet sunshine with a smile. =D And yes Babe, I love you and God is my witness! I don't freakin care if some of my friends are being an ass and they don't approve for having you as the man of my life because in the end it's gonna be between you and me anyway. And, sooner or later they will eventually accept that fact that It is YOU whom I love and no one else.
Thanks for sticking with me Babe though I know there's too much temptation. I really appreciate that. Thank you for being the source of my happiness. Thank you tolerating my bitchiness especially when I have my PMS. Thank you for all the efforts you've exerted in our relationship and of course thank you for loving me just the way I am. =)) I may be too perky, too sabad, too childish, too immature, too drama queen, too CUTE hahahaha, too Paula Roldan, but one thing is certain, I love you and I love you and I love you and I will love you forever! HAHAHA. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life you!
I have 3 names but more often than not, people call me Paula, and yes, pronunciation counts! I was born and raised in the little city of Roxas, but I am currently residing in Mo-town California. A freshmen student at Modesto Junior College taking up Nursing. 18 years young and I have never been this happy in my life. I am taken by the most amazing guy ever and God knows how much he means to me. We’ve been together for “quite a while” and I just can’t wait til I get to spend the rest of my life with him.
Sometimes all you need is ONE.
